If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0. We don’t fail – it just takes us more than one version sometimes. So now that you see we are admittedly imperfect, you can have my guarantee that we will always work hard to assure your happiness. It is our pleasure to have your delight. When it comes to customer satisfaction, we never give up. #VersionInfinity

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be. A common theme among nerds is our strive for efficiency and disdain for waste. We always want to do more with less. In working for you we will maximize your returns while minimizing your investment. Business people would call it maximizing your ROI – we simply call it a half-glass full.

For the first time in history, we feel empowered in our nerdiness. With this newfound freedom, we are freely admitting our tendency to be nerdlike. The benefits you will see by hiring nerds is that we tend to obsess over our work and will always insist on perfection. In school, we weren’t the best athlete or the savviest dresser, but we excelled at pleasing our teacher. Now this desire to please is focused on you. Get ready to have the teacher’s pet at your disposal.